Thursday, November 23, 2017

Kendall Jenner Beats Gisele on Model Money Chart


Forbes released its list of top female model annual earners. Kendall Jenner took over first place from long standing title holder Gisele Bundchen. Everybody was shocked until they remembered it was modeling and it simply doesn't matter. Akin to learning Sylvia Fowles won this year's WNBA MVP Award. Right, you didn't know either.

Jenner took home $22 million this past year compared to Bundchen's lackluster $17 million. There's no relevant list for male models since they make squat and conveniently omitted from all gender pay gap calculations. The list is heavily misleading in terms of revenue sources, as most of the cash generated to these slender relatively hot chicks now comes from social media promotional campaigns with makeup and fragrance companies. Hence, Chrissy Teigen was number three on the list with $13.5 million though she spent much of the past annum pregnant with her John Legend drunken anchor baby. Also, she's not attractive enough to be a fashion model. But she's turned herself into a well paid Instagram pimp.

The entire list is again favoring Americans tuned into media and endorsement opportunities. The South American and Eastern Bloc hotties are fading fast on the money list. They simply don't translate as well onto social media as their celebrity kid TV show counterparts. Both Hadids are on the list and it's unclear either can walk in heels. But they've got tens of millions of social followers and they're fucking dudes with the same or more. Coupling up with the premiere Hungarian soccer player simply isn't the same as merging bodies and commercial opportunities with the dude from One Direction. Dating Blake Griffin isn't random. Nor likely particularly pleasant.

Kendall Jenner isn't entire devoid of modeling talent. However that may be torturously defined. She's tall and slender and has skipped all the implants of her sister and half-sisters and mom and dad. That's #resistance. She looks devoid of sentient thought and spirit which makes for the more than adequate ambulatory mannequin. She's not being paid because companies like her as a person. She moves product to even dumber teens. Hard to begrudge her her split. Or her mom's ten percent cut. This family turned actress controlled porn into a huge money business.


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